


Dead but Alive

by CloverzBandit



Series: If You Want Something, Take It [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Dreams and Nightmares, F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Hypnotism, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Memory Loss, Metalbender Peridot, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Other, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Recovery, References to Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Supernatural AU - Freeform, Vampire Lapis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24119527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloverzBandit/pseuds/CloverzBandit
Summary: Lapis has escaped Jasper's clenches and came upon Steven and Greg. However, she may be free but what has that left her?
Relationships: implied Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe) - Relationship
Series: If You Want Something, Take It [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1740337
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	1. Half Gone

**Author's Note:**

> Been working on this for a long time and still am! That is so sad. Anyway, here is the first chapter because I have a headache rn and need to edit the other chapters.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS IN TAGS

It was a Saturday night in Beach City. The ocean looked like tar, calming waves crashing into the shore at high tide, and a few people walking around with friends on the boardwalk. Lapis finds herself just laying there, on a public bench, close to the beach in the sand, thinking about what just happened to her, again.

For  _ three  _ years, Lapis had to put up with abuse. Jasper lied to her, everything that she was told at the beginning was a lie. Their relationship, Lapis’s love for her, her past, and so on. She was being manipulated, blinded by Jasper's eyes. Those eyes that started it all. First, they were amber, the next they’re crimson. Telling her what to do, telling her what  _ Jasper _ wanted  _ her _ to do. The whole time, Jasper was hypnotizing her, using her to get the blood she needed and attention. Then, be turned into a vampire because she went too far. It was so fucked up. She couldn’t tell who she was anymore because of Jasper telling her what to be and what to do. It left Lapis as an empty husk, left to rot for two weeks. She ignored everything her body desired in fear of it being Jasper the one telling her to.

So, she sits curled up in a ball, hugging herself. Tears and hunger drowning her whole, waiting for it to stop, but it won’t. Vampires are immortal. The only way of dying is getting stacked, spending too long in the daylight, or not consuming blood for five weeks. Lapis just waited and waited.

-

Time passed and the sun was starting to rise over the ocean. Her already beaten body started to itch. 

Lapis waited until her body was burning like hell. Her life as a vampire was wavering, so much so she didn’t register anything going on around her. She must have blackout because she was somewhere else now. She couldn’t really see due to almost dying of sun exposure. All she knew were two blurry blobs of people were touching her and doing something to her or whatever. But, after long, she grew unconscious, not caring what the people were doing to her.

-

_ Lapis finds herself at a bar, drinking beer left and right until she drinks herself silly. She was so caught up in her own business, she didn’t notice someone watching her in the distance. _

_ Lapis was talking to an old acquaintance. They talked for a bit until Lapis needed to release her insides, so she drunkenly ran into the girls' restroom and vomited half the alcohol she drank into the toilet. Once she was done, she went to the sink and cleaned herself off the best she could. She finishes with splashing water on her face, looking at herself in the mirror. She frowned. _

_ “You’re such a mess…” Lapis slurred, splashing water on her face once more and grabbed paper towels to dry herself. While doing this action, she heard the door open and close. She looked up at the stranger, in awe at how muscular she was. _

_ “Need any help?” She asks with a smirk. _

_ Lapis just stood there a second, checking her out until she reached her face. She snapped out of her infatuation. _

_ “Uhhh, nuh. I’m good.” She quickly goes back to drying herself, gaze fixed on the floor. _

_ She hears the footsteps of the other approach her, stopping right in front of her. She tries not to notice but she felt the others meaty hand grab her chin, forcefully moving Lapis’s head to look at her. She was frightened by the sudden touch but that thought quickly vanishes when she looking directly at her glowing crimson eyes. _

_ “Let me clean you up and I can take you to my place hmmm?” She said confidently with a smirky smile.  _

_ Lapis’s eyes glazed over, turning her blue eyes to crimson. She didn’t know what to say. The world was all tinted red, the only thing sticking out was those red eyes staring back at her, wanting her to say yes. So, she complies through her haze. _

_ “Yeah. . . .ok,” She replies unconsciously, body relaxing, eyes stuck on the others. _

_ “Good girl.” She says, satisfied with her work. She helps to dry the rest of her off and holds her hand when finished. “Walk out the bar with me and let me do the rest.” Lapis nods, still lost in those eyes. The other chuckles “Let's get going then.” _

_ Deep down, Lapis knew this was suspicious, but the alcohol and something else was guiding her along. They made it outside the bar, turning in an alleyway. They go further in so pass-biers wouldn’t see anything. “Let's sit,” the muscular woman states, sitting down, Lapis following. “Tell me, what’s your name,” She asks in an ordering tone, boring into Lapis’s sight even more. _

_ Lapis responded, not giving a second thought. “Lapis Lazuli…” _

_ “Lapis? Huh, I’m Jasper,” She said, rubbing her hand up to Lapis’s neck. “Can I do something, it won’t hurt much.”  _

_ She nodded unconsciously. _

_ “Good, stay still and quiet, ok. No matter what happens.” Jasper said leaning into her, chin just above her neck. _

_ “Ok. . . ” Lapis lets out breathlessly, trying to shake off a bad feeling in the back of her head. The rest of her thoughts were telling her what to do without thinking. _

_ With that, Jasper leaned in and pushed her fangs into Lapis’s neck, sucking the blood out of her. Lapis wanted to scream and fight back but Jasper’s trance still stands and her body was losing strength. She let out a small squeak, body falling into Jaspers front. Lapis was losing her consciousness, half awake and half asleep. _

_ Jasper pulled back, once again lifting Lapis’s head to make her look at her face. “You will come live with me as my girlfriend and not remember your past life nor this night. Now, you will fall asleep for twenty-four hours.” She stated. _

  
  


_ Lapis tried to resist but couldn’t stop herself. Her eyes fell and her body went slack against Jaspers. Then, everything stopped, nothing but red around her, consuming her. _


	2. Helping Hand

Lapis woke up, head pounding into her skull. She groaned, moving her hands to manage her temples.

“How do you feel?” a wavering voice asked her. Lapis looked over, a confused look on her face. There was a man sitting next to her.

“You're probably wondering where you are, but tell me how you’re feeling first.”

Lapis stares at the man for a moment, having an erg to drink his blood, but going against it. She continued to lay there until she shook her head, stopping to stare at the ceiling. Everything was moving, like spinning yourself in circles only to stop to see the world moving.

Lapis let out a groan, clenching her teeth, fangs showing. “Dizzy, confused, head pounding, vision blurry, hot, and . . . .hungry…” Lapis weakly said, voice going rough at the end.

There was a moment of silence until a chipper voice called, making Lapis close her eyes and body twitch from the loud voice.

“Dad! Is she awake yet?! I got the thing you asked!”

“Yeah, come in here before something bad happens.” The man said, voice more neutral. 

With that, he entered, coming in front of the couch Lapis laid on. She didn’t open her eyes at the new person.

“You sure? Her eyes are closed…”

“Yeah, hey miss. I don’t know much about vampires but…,” He reached for the pack of the blood the boy had in hand. “I know you need blood to function, so I got Steven to get some for you. He was the one who found you half-dead on a bench...”

Lapis sat up a little too suddenly, her brain and body protesting; vision going black for a second and pins and needles sending pain up her person. The man saw this coming and pushed her back down. “Easy, your a little out of it at the moment. Take things slowly.”

“Yeah! It's ok. We’ll take care of you.” The so-called Steven added in.

Lapis let out a sigh, slowly sitting up, finally looking at the man and Steven. The man had long brown hair but a bald spot on the top. He wears a white, stained, tank top and cut off shorts, showing his tan. The boy next to him, named Steven, had a black shirt with a star in the middle and a pink varsity jacket. He also wears jean shorts and pink flip flops. His hair was a black curly afro and body hair on his arm and legs. He looks to be in his mid-20s.

Lapis stared at them for a second but slow forced her eyes down to see the pack of blood. Just at the sight of seeing fresh blood made her mouth drool, eyes turn crimson, and stomach and mind praying for it to be ingested. She shook her head again, grunting and staring back at the pack. She needed it but forced herself not to drink it. Steven saw her hesitate.

“Look, I know your starving so just take it.”

“...No, I...I-I-I c-can’t..” Lapis stutters, body trembling of hunger and panic. She wanted so badly to tear the pack open and suck the blood dry, but  _ what if Jaspers in my head again? _

“Why not?” Steven asked, head tilting to the side.

“Reasons that a-aren't y-your b-b-business.”

“You're clearly hungry though.” Steven presses on.

This was making Lapis angry. The man noticed and instantly steps away while pulling Steven with him.

“Steven, don’t make her angry.” The man stated worryingly.

“But if she doesn’t drink she’ll die.” Steven resisted his father's pulling, taking the pack from his dad, and walking to the distressed woman slowly. Lapis backed up, floating a little until she was trapped against the wall. She clenched her hands into fists and closed her eyes, waiting for the punch to come or touches to start flying roughly against her body. But, none came.

“Are...are you okay?” Steven asked.

She opened one eye hesitantly, seeing Steven standing five feet away, a worried look on his face. “I…,” Lapis whispered, looking away and shrinking in on herself, tears forming in her still hungry crimson eyes. 

“Steven, back up. She probably has her reasons,” the elder reasoned. Steven gives in, stepping away from her. Lapis floats back down to sit on the couch, wiping tears away.

“No ...I’m..” Lapis started but a sob escapes her mouth. “N-not o-okay...” Lapis tried to keep the emotions in but it's hard when you have little energy and in a bad physical and mental state. Steven and his dad looked at each other. They wanted to help but didn’t know how. They contemplated while Lapis sat there crying her eyes out. Then, Steven had an idea.

“Hey, if you mind me asking...What's your name?” Steven asked fidgeting with his fingers.

Lapis composed herself for a minute. “Lapis...” she said lowly.

“Well Lapis, I’m Steven Universe and this is my dad,” Steven said, pointing to his dad.

“You can call me Greg or Mr. Universe.” the so-called Greg introduced.

“Okay..?” Lapis said, unsure of what to do while wiping her tears.

A moment passed and Steven looked over to his dad, giving a signal. Greg nodded.

“Well… we're assuming that you have nowhere to go so you can stay with us! My dad got a huge paycheck thanks to a commercial song he made over a month ago and we still have a ton of money to spend with it.” Steven paused. “Can you let us help you?” Steven pleaded, giving Lapis puppy dog eyes.

Lapis took a moment to process what he was saying. She couldn’t believe two strangers would want to help her and get her back on her feet. Though, she didn’t really have any other place to go. Her memory was erased and she can’t remember her friends or family for that matter. It was rare to get anything before she met Jasper.

Lapis looked up at their faces, they looked so welcoming and genuine. Lapis gave a weak smile. “Ok...I...I guess I’ll let you...”

Steven squealed in excitement, careful with the pack still in his hand.

“You won’t regret it Lapis! I can’t wait to introduce you to the Gems!” Steven paused. “Is it ok to hug you?” Steven asked.

Lapis didn’t really know what being hugged felt like or know what that was.

“What is a hug?” Lapis asked, head tilted. Steven gasped.

“You don’t know what a hug is!?”

Lapis shook her head in confusion.

“Dad get over here!” Steven came close to his father and wrapped his arms around him.

“This is a hug. Can I hug you?” He said pulling away from Greg, while handing him back the blood pack, and looks to Lapis.

“Ummm….sure. Just not too tight.”

With that, Steven walked over to her and hugged her for a long time. Lapis smiles, wrapping her arms around him.

“Thank you, Steven.”

-

It was kind of hard to hang out or function correctly. Lapis hadn’t ingested any blood for three weeks. Steven tried to convince her but she kept refusing. By now, she was in a state of a fever dream. She didn’t process much. She just locked herself in her room, silently suffering. She slept pretty much all day.

But today, Steven wanted her to meet the “Crystal Gems.” Lapis didn’t want to leave a bad impression but she is kind of out of it at the moment.

A knock came at the door. “Hey, Lapis! Can I come in and introduce you to the Gems?” Steven asked through the door.

Lapis didn’t want him to come in with other strangers in her room, especially when she was a mess.

“Not a good time…” Lapis responded.

“Come on Lapis, please?”

“Steven, I’m a mess right now.”

There was a moment of silence, then a stoic and calm voice spoke.

“I know life can be hard to deal with but can you let us help you. Give us a chance.”

Lapis didn’t know who this person was but they sound like the type of person that could speak wisdom.

“Fine, just don’t touch me….” Lapis finally accepted with a sigh, bringing the covers up to hide from view. She left a little space to see the newcomers through the covers.

The door opened slowly. Steven was the first to walk in and stepped aside to let the other three in.

Lapis’s senses were telling her to feed madly. Lapis could feel the newcomers pulses and smell their blood type. Lapis covered her full view, not wanting to attack people she just met.

“Lapis, please come out.” Steven said, walking over to the bump in the bed.

“No.” Lapis mumbled through the covers.

“Why not?”

“Because!” Lapis shouted back, body shaking.

“Because why?!” Steven shouted back.

“Um, Steven, don’t anger her.” Came a different voice, soft but nervous.

“But-“

“Steven, don’t force it.” Came the stoic voice again. There was a moment of silence before another different voice spoke.

“Ummmm, should we just...come a different time? She seems like she wants to be alone…”

“All you guys can leave. I’ll take care of this.” The stoic voice came again. The others walked over to the door and closed it behind them, leaving the two. “Look, Lapis. I know you're in a difficult position but we just want to get to know you.” She said, walking closer to the bed.

Lapis didn’t want to be in a room alone with a stranger. This made Lapis anxious. The other noticed her shaking increase below the covers and stopped.

“I am not going to force you to do anything or touch you, but to understand that you need to get help.”

“You think I don’t know that!” Lapis shouted. “I know I do! I’m not stupid! I just don’t want to harm anyone!”

“You can’t always put others before yourself. You could hurt yourself.”

Lapis grunted and shot up from the covers, looking at the other like a caged animal with red eyes. “That’s the fucking point! I don’t want to be here! I know nothing about anything except me getting brainwashed by a bitch of a vampire! I can’t live knowing what happened with her so I’ll starve myself to death!” Lapis breathed heavily, tears in her eyes. “A-a-and if I just stay alone here I won’t in danger people's lives by sucking their blood dry.” Lapis floated up four inches from the ground, slowly approaching the intruder with eyes looking into the others shades, fangs showing.

She didn’t seem to be affected by the incoming hungry vampire. She stood her ground. 

Once Lapis actually focuses on her shades covering her eyes, the vampire stops, looking into her reflection. Then she floats down to the ground, hugging herself and crying, fatigue and stress consuming her whole.  _ I’m a monster. I’m acting like Jasper…. _

Lapis didn’t focus on what the other woman was doing. She was lost in her thoughts again. It continued on until she felt arms wrap around her, a head on her shoulder, nuzzling into her. The world seems to calm and Lapis could hear whispers from somewhere. But she didn’t focus on that. She slowly let the arms comfort her and allowed the world to darken.


	3. Disruption

My eyes went dark I don't know where My pupils are But I'll figure out a way to get us out of here Get a load if this monster He doesn't know how to communicate His mind is in a different place Will everybody please give him a little bit of space Get a load of this trainwreck His hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet But little do we know the stars welcome him with open arms Oh Time is Slowly Tracing his face But strangely he feels at home in this place.

  
  
  


_ Lapis woke from a sound coming from inside the room. She opened her eyes, seeing the world in blurry blobs before her eyes focused. She looked around, feeling ...different. The room looked familiar yet new and unfamiliar. She fixed her gaze to her…...l̈öv̈ër̈. Jasper was turned around, rummaging through a drawer. Then, she turned to see Lapis staring at her, looking confused but happy. _

_ “What’s up Lap. Have a good rest?” She spoke, walking and sitting on the bed, carrying clothes. _

_ Lapis stares up and down the others buff body, a blush creeping in. _

_ “Like what you see, huh?” Jasper teased, ruffling the bluenettes hair. Lapis allowed it, feeling trusting to her. “Now, get dressed. Your clothes are dirty from the other day so you can borrow these.” Jasper pulls back and hands Lapis the clothes. _

_ “Other day? What happened? I can’t recall anything but now. Did something-“ _

_ “Hey,” Jasper interrupted, grabbing Lapis’s chin to look at those painfully recognizable crimson eyes. “Don’t think about it too much. Be patient and I’ll tell you, ok?” _

_ Once again, Lapis gave an unconscious ok and walked to the bathroom. “Wait a moment Lapis.” Jasper said from behind, Lapis stopping in her tracks. “You don’t need to dress in the bathroom. You can just change in here.” She said, walking towards Lapis from behind and grabbing her waists. _

_ Lapis felt a little scared at the touch and the sickeningly sweet but still raspy voice from her p̈är̈ẗn̈ër̈. “I don’t know. I’m just uncomfortable with changing in front of someone…” _

_ Jasper moved one hand to hug Lapis’s waist and the other slithering to her chest. “I’m not just anyone, my love. I’m your girlfriend,” came her seductive voice. “You trust and love me, right?” Her hand once on her chest came up her neck, then holding her chin. _

_ Lapis felt fear, frozen at Jasper’s words. She was right, right? She trusts her girlfriend and she loves her….right?  _

_ Lapis didn’t answer in time. Jasper somehow got Lapis to turn around, Jaspers hand wrapped around her waist making them too close for comfort and her other holding her chin in place to once again look at those eyes. “You do trust me, don’t you.” Jasper asked but in an ordering tone, not making it sound like a question. _

_ Red. Red overtook her vision, Lapis’s eyes focusing on the only thing that sticks out. Jaspers crimson eyes. Lapis’s tense body relaxes and her blue oceanic eyes turn crimson. Her mouth following what the eyes of the other wanted her to say. _

_ “Yes, I trust you.” Lapis let out, letting her guide her. _

_ “And you do love me, correct.” _

_ “Of course, Jasper…..” _

_ “Good, then you shouldn’t worry about dressing in another room when I’m the only one around.” _

_ “ Ok…” Lapis could vaguely feel Jasper release her, letting her get dressed. She blindly takes off her clothes, except her bra and underwear. Jaspers touches her almost bare body. Deep down, Lapis felt sick and panicked but all her actions let Jasper touch her body. _

_ “How about we have some fun, hmm?” Jasper voiced, once again seductive and pulling Lapis into the bed, clothes falling out of her hands. _

_ Lapis felt even more panic rise and her body tense, causing the red to fade a little. Jasper notices and once again fixed Lapis’s residence. Lapis tried to look away but it was no use. She agreed. _

_ Lapis couldn’t see what was happening but she could feel it. She felt the bed covers on her back. She felt Jasper on top of her. She felt hands touching roughly on her body. She felt fangs in her neck. She felt the other's lips aggressively kiss hers. She felt her hands remove the rest of her clothing. She felt fingers slide down to her- _

Lapis stood up, a blood-curdling scream coming from her mouth, her eyes pouring tears, her body shaking wildly, and her panic rising into a panic attack.

All Lapis could feel is Jasper's hands touching places that made her want to throw up. All she could hear was a ringing in her ear. She didn’t respond, a mist all her panic, to the people trying to calm her down. 

“L҉a҉p҉i҉s҉, p҉l҉e҉a҉s҉e҉ c҉a҉l҉m҉ d҉o҉w҉n҉!” Lapis could hear through the buzzing. She focuses on the voice, trying to control her panic. 

Steven. It was Steven’s voice. The more he talked, the more her vision and hearing came to focus.

“T҉h҉a҉t҉ 's҉ i҉t҉. I҉'m҉ h҉e҉r҉e҉ a҉n҉d҉ y҉o҉u҉ a҉r҉e҉ s҉a҉f҉e҉. N҉o҉ o҉n҉e҉ i҉s҉ g҉o҉i҉n҉g҉ t҉o҉ h҉u҉r҉t҉ y҉o҉u҉.”

“T҉a҉k҉e҉ d҉e҉e҉p҉ b҉r҉e҉a҉t҉h҉e҉s҉. I҉n҉ o҉n҉e҉ t҉w҉o҉, h҉o҉l҉d҉ t҉h҉r҉e҉e҉ f҉o҉u҉r҉, o҉u҉t҉ f҉i҉v҉e҉ s҉i҉x҉ s҉e҉v҉e҉n҉.” Came that stoic voice.

Lapis follows their instructions, calming down and noticing her surroundings. Other sets of arms were wrapped around her, all different skin tones. Lapis was too tired to care about closeness or the urge to drink everyone’s blood at the moment. She just let them until they pulled away minutes later. Steven still holding her hand.

“You doing okay?” Lapis looked at the people who have removed themselves from the hug. The one who questioned had long white hair with tanned skin, like herself, and blue eyes. Her expression filled with concern and worry. The other two had the same expression but looked very different. To the right of the white-haired girl has a white, tall, and thin woman. Her hair was a soft pink-peach color with short hair, similar but different to herself, and her eyes were a soft baby blue. The woman to the left was the familiar stoic one. She was taller than both of them. She had black skin, curly black afro hair, and shades covering her eyes, just like before.

Lapis looked at Steven with her crimson eyes, him staring back. Lapis looked away and fell to the bed beneath her, letting out a long sigh. “Peachy…” Lapis answered. 

There was a moment of silence before Steven spoke. “Ummm, do you want to eat or drink something?” 

“No…” she groaned.

“Let me rephrase that. You  _ need _ to eat and drink something.” The taller and stoic of them all stated, walking forward with Chaps chips and the pack of blood from before. Lapis could smell it, along with everyone else’s blood in the room at that moment. Lapis’s mouth started to water when she looked up at the two items in her hand. She wanted so badly to drink and eat.

She bit her lip, her fangs still out, and she tasted her own blood. Lapis was going insane. Before she could drink her lips dry, Steven quickly took the pack and held it in front of the vampire's face, hoping she would stop. The smell was getting stronger. The need and desperation for the thick liquid to be ingested were too much.

Through her hungry haze, she shot up in the air, above the group, and hit her head on the roof. Lapis groaned loudly and caused her to sink her fangs deeper into her bottom lip. On instinct, she sucked her blood more. Just in seconds, Lapis felt sick. 

She didn’t notice a whip wrap around her ankle, slowly but frantically pulling down the dazed bluenette. Once her feet hit the ground, she stumbled into Stevens' arms.

Lapis’s mind was reeling fast and light-headed. The next thing she knew she was blindly fighting the group who wanted to help her. When Lapis snaps out of it, however, she feels a hand in closed over her right hand. She slams her eyes shut, shaking, the voice screaming at her to feed. When she opens her eyes again, she focuses on Steven who was right in front of her. She glanced down, finding a punch she threw was caught and held by Steven’s big hands. The vampire blinked. Steven's face was stern, looked cold, and serious.

Steven seemed to study Lapis, finding her focused on the scene. Then, she shed a tear. Steven instantly released his hand, looking concerned but scared to touch her. “Lapis? Lapis, it’s okay. We know it wasn’t you.” Steven reassured slow and carefully approaching the troubled bluenette.

Lapis was starting to see black creeping in on the corners of her vision. Her breath caught and fell to her knees. Lapis shook her head and breathing coming out ragged, along with repeating “no” and low self-esteem statements.

“Oh damn….” the other tanned skinned woman said in shock. The three walked slowly around Lapis, looking down at her.

Lapis didn’t like people looking down on her. She hated it. But she was weak, tired and done with the world.

She let her shaking limbs fall, causing her to face plant on the floor. Lapis let the black envelope her vision, wanting to rest forever. But, Steven and his friends weren’t going to let that happen. Lapis stayed halfway conscious. They set her up and shook her, yelled, smacked, and everything else the keep her awake. Lapis could feel them push the blood pack against her mouth. She could smell the sweet O+ blood right in front of her. She wanted it. She needed it.  _ Drink your pray Lapis. _

They pushed Lapis to drink. The more they tried the more her mind went wild. Lapis’s fang grew out more. They pushed the pack to her fang, the fangs punctured through the plastic. The smell was strong. The need to drink was irrefutable.  _ Do it now! _

Through her haze, she felt the blood on her fangs, tasted blood in her mouth, hearing her drink, feeling the thick liquid settle in her gut. She wanted to moan in pleasure.

She drinks it dry. The plastic shriveling up. She didn’t notice until they pulled the now empty pack away and set her to lay on her bed.  _ Good girl. _

Lapis felt energy gain in her body like it was boiling water about to overflow. Her body twitched and her crimson eyes turning to their natural oceanic deep blue under her eyelids.

Lapis shot up, eyes opened to frantically look around her, but not focusing on the scene, and breathing fast, completely forgetting her performance from before. Steven quickly came forward and laid a comforting hand on her back. “Calm down Lapis. You are okay now.” He spoke softly, rubbing her back.

Lapis took deep breaths and relaxed into Steven’s touch. She felt a migraine start to form, causing her to feel like throwing up. She rubbed her temples, grunting at the pain. “Urg ...What's going on?” Lapis questioned in a quiet voice. She looked up to see the three from before looking at her, watching her every move.

“Um,” Steven started, Lapis looked back at him. “You may have gone a little haywire but we got you to drink blood.”

Lapis tensed, eyes widening. “What! Nononononononono. Why did you do that? I was trying so hard to not drink any blood! It’s the only way.” Lapis curled up on herself, hiding her face.

“Way to do what?” Steven questioned, stopped rubbing her back. Before Lapis could say anything else, a stoic voice interrupted.

“A way to die without doing anything.” She concluded, stepping forward and making her way to Lapis. Steven froze.

“But-” he started.

“Steven. Don’t.” she finally reached Lapis, sitting on the bed.

“I don’t believe we formally introduced ourselves.” She started, resting her hand on the vampire's shoulder. “I’m Garnet.” She spoke. Lapis lifted her head and turned to look at her blankly. “The one over there is Pearl,” Garnet stated, pointing to the thin, but tall, woman. Lapis followed her hand to meet eyes with Pearl. The other smiled softly and waved, not knowing what to do. “There is Amethyst.” Garnet then pointed to the short and tanned woman. Amethyst did a peace sign and did a casual ‘sup’. “We're called the Crystal Gems as a group. But there are others.” She finished.

Lapis uncurled herself and stood up unsteadily. Steven caught her, along with the others that quickly step forward but relaxed as Steven handled it.

“Do you need anything?” Pearl asked. “You look feverish.” She walked forwards and placed her palm on Lapis’s forehand. She noticeably tensed, causing Pearl to pull back. Before Pearl could say anything, Lapis quickly spoke.

“I’m fine…“ Lapis states quietly, pushing off Steven and walking to the door.

“Where are you going?” Amethyst question from behind.

She stops at the entrance, looking back slightly “I…. need time to myself...” then she left the room, through the halls, passed the kitchen, out the door, down the stairs, and to the boardwalk. Alone. With her thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapters every day btw


	4. Lost Insecurity

_ “Come on Lapis, cheer up. Let’s just go to the beach and shake it off.” Jasper said. Lapis finished clothing herself in a bikini with a dress skirt that was dark blue and a darker shade as a triangle and another on the other piece, making a diamond. The other sighed. _

_ “Fine, got nothing else to do.” Lapis agreed. _

_ “Good, now let's go.” Jasper picked her up, setting her on her shoulders as Lapis let out a surprised squeak. Jasper ran to the back door and on route to the beach, not but three minutes away on foot away.  _

_ They arrived and Jasper set Lapis back down. She looked around, seeing no one but them on an evening night with a full moon shining down on them. Jasper smiles devilishly and turns to Lapis, reaching her hand to enclose upon her wrist. Lapis flinched. “Say, want to dance?” She asked. _

_ “I mean, we’re on a beach. It’s not exactly leveled or flat due to the sand being-“ She was interrupted by Jasper  _ _ pinching her shoulder muscle with her middle finger and thumb _ _ , making Lapis stop thinking in her tracks and looked up at Jasper. _

_ “Stop thinking so much. Come on, just say yes.” She said in a devilish tone, releasing her grip. Lapis looked down at the sand and then looked up, holding her hand out, nodding. Jasper smiled and they started to dance. _

_ Once Jasper dipped Lapis, they looked at each other, nonmoving. Jasper smiled again and nuzzled her face into the bluenette’s neck. “I want you,” she whispered. Without warning, Jasper sank her fangs into her. Lapis just stayed in that position, paralyzed. She felt something burned in her bloodstream and up to her head. It stung, tremendously, and spread through her brain. She was losing more of her life source, each struggle to break free failing as her mind and limbs grow weaker. Once Lapis couldn’t function, her body shut down to an endless abyss. Jasper pulled her fangs out, Lapis limp in her hold. She took her pulse. It was gone. She smiled and the vampire lifted Lapis up like a new bride that was out cold from drinking too much. She laid her down on the sand, a few inches from the ocean shore. She sat next to her, waiting. Once five minutes passed, Jasper heard a growl coming from Lapis. She started to twitch, jerk, and then floated up a couple of feet from the ground. She snapped awake, twirling in the air and hauled, farther from the ground. _

_ “The fuck!” Lapis yelled, panicking. _

_ “Hey, come down!” Jasper yelled from the ground. Lapis looked down to Jasper, panic turning into fiery. “You bitch! What did you do to me!?” Lapis’s eyes turned red and she speed down, pinning the white-haired vampire to the ground. “You think you can control me like some sort of prisoner! Well, guess what?! You can't keep me trapped here anymore!” Lapis floated up into the air, carrying Jasper with her, then she dropped her into the ocean. Lapis dives in after her, now pinning her to the ocean floor. Jasper brakes out of her stupor and fights against Lapis. They fought for control, but Lapis saw two sets of cuffs entangled together, along with all the debris of the past. She punched Jasper off and swam to them. She grabbed them just in time before being pulled into, once again, being pinned by her so-called mistress. “Gotcha.” She said slyly.  _

_ Lapis smirked back at her. “No, you didn’t.” She quickly cuffed Jasper’s hand and then the other to herself. “I'm done being your prisoner. Now you're my prisoner!” She pushes them up to the surface but struggled due to the others struggling and yelling. Once Lapis swims/floats them to shore, she falls on the sand. Jasper gets up and aggressively picks Lapis up by the collar.  _

_ “You little pest! Look what you’ve done! You're going to regret ever fighting against me!” She boars her eyes into Lapis’s soul. “You are to forget what just happened on this beach and follow my every command. Go to sleep and awaken tomorrow at noon.” Jasper orders. _

_ Lapis tries to resist but her actions were already following Jasper’s demand. _

By then, Lapis was a shivering and crying mess. Her vampirism was scarring and traumatizing. Jasper made her like this. Jasper messed with her head. And Jasper kept pushing and forcing her to do such awful things. Jasper was abusive to her. It was torture.

She curled up on herself, hugging her knees tighter as sobs escaped her.

“Hey, umm...Are you okay?” Came an uneasy voice. Lapis didn’t respond to it. “Umm…. I’m guessing that as a no…” Lapis still didn’t respond. There was a moment of silence before the mysterious voice indicated movement by sitting down next to her. “Look, I know that your not okay and want to be left alone but...can you let me help you. You look like the kind of girl that has some serious baggage that no one has dared to help you with.” A pause. “If it will make you feel better, I can get you something to eat.”

Lapis quieted her sobbing. 

_ I haven’t had food for days.  _

_ You don’t need it though.  _

_ But I am half-human.  _

_ You just want to eat because of Jasper telling you to.  _

_ No, she isn’t.  _

_ Yes she is. She’s manipulating you like always. You know she left a mark on you. She's still there, lingering in your mind _

Her thoughts went back and forth, each time her doubts winning. She couldn’t seem to counter her own thoughts.

“Hey, can you hear me in there?” Lapis snapped out of it. Lapis didn’t say anything to the other, but she did untangle herself and got up, body facing away from the stranger. She whipped away her tears.

“Fucking idiot.” Lapis insulted in a whisper to herself.

_ You’re so pathetic. No one would ever actually care about you. Not after they know who you really are. Not after they know what shit you’ve been through and what you did. You’ll just push them away. You are not needed. You’re just a waste of space. Why can’t you accept your fate and die already? Jasper is the only one who understands you.  _

_ Go back to her. _

A choked sob escaped her. She didn’t like being like this either. Suddenly, a hand was placed on her shoulder. It wasn’t a violation but a caring gesture. Lapis slowly turned around, just wanting to get a glimpse of this person. They make eye contact for a millisecond but Lapis was quick to turn around. 

Lapis composes herself.  _ Her eyes are teal.  _ “Why are you here?” Lapis questioned. The girl released her hand.

“Umm well, as I said, you seem like you need a shoulder to lean on.”

“Why would you care for a random stranger?”

“Well, you were just shaking and crying your eyes out over here so it’s kind of concerning.”

_ I guess that is true… _

Lapis fully turned around, looking over the other. The first thing she noticed was how short she was and how white her skin was. She had short blond hair kept up in an uncaring manner. She wore a green hoodie and gray sweatpants with her yellow-tinted glasses hanging off the hoodies collar. Her expression was concerned and welcoming to help. Lapis didn’t know anyone could show any emotion towards helping a hopeless idiot like she is. She also felt attracted to her but she doesn't want to admit it out loud. She knew she didn’t deserve to have anyone in a relationship, not after a hell of a life with Jasper.

“I don’t deserve that,” Lapis stated, turning back around.

“Why not?”

“Because!” Lapis turned to face her, flailing her arms around.

“That doesn’t exactly explain anything.” She crosses her arms, one eyebrow raised.

“Urgh! Just leave me alone.” Lapis turned and began to walk in the other direction. The blonde quickly ran and grabbed her wrist, Lapis stopped, feeling a wave of burning anger and fear mixed together at once.

“Look, I know you're in a tough spot but you clearly need help. Tell me how to help you, please?” She begged.

Lapis froze, looking at those pleading teal eyes. She was still angry but she felt something weird.  _ “When you interact with someone who you find attractive, you are to drink their blood dry.” _

Without knowing it, the eyes of the other became crimson and she released her grip. Lapis just stared back at her, eyes crimson as well. 

Lapis felt dizzy and odd. Unconsciously, she got real close to the other, her breath up against her neck.

“Tell me, what’s your name?” Lapis asked in her daze, sounding like a very confident Jasper.

“Peridot.” She answers in a robotic tone.

Lapis opened her mouth, getting ready to sink her fangs in when her mind started to panic. She released the girl, her thoughts now racing and starting to hyperventilate. Lapis looked down at her hands that were shaking violently. Her legs letting out beneath her and she fell to the ground, landing on her back. She slammed her eyes shut, feeling a recognizable feeling.

_ “You are mine. You will do what I say. You will not resist. You will be just like me when I’m done with you.”  _ Came Jasper’s voice in her head.

_ No no no no _

_ “You are my property. You are my pet. I know what’s good for you. You don’t. You need me. We can be together forever.” _

“No!” Lapis shouted getting up on shaky legs.

“ _ Face the facts Lapis. We need each other. Come back to me.” _

“Never! Get out of my head!” She began to run.

_ “I can never leave you. I’m apart of a missing piece you just threw away. You can never get rid of me.” _

“No your not and yes I will!” Lapis shouted, running straight for a brick wall.

_ “You can’t run forever. I’ll always be a part of you.” _

_ Lapis let out a disgruntled no and ran headfirst into the brick wall, knocking her unconscious. _

-

Peridot wasn’t sure what just happened but once she was out of whatever world she was in, she heard that girls voice in distress.

“No!”

She looked down to see the bluenette girl trying to get up. She was hyperventilating and shaking madly. The confusing part was her eyes that were red. Blood red. Once the distressed woman got up, she ran yelling “Never! Get out of my head!”

Peridot was very confused. She just wanted to do a nice thing and that girl refused it. Not knowing what else to do, she ran after her. The woman kept running and yelled, “No your not and yes I will!”

Then she saw a brick wall coming up. And she was running straight towards it.  _ Well shit. _

“Hey! Stop! You're going to run into a wall!” she shouted, but the girl didn’t stop, heck she just went faster. Peridot tried to warn her but all she got before she ran into the wall was an angry-sounding “no.” Peridot picked up her pace, worried out of her mind the woman has killed herself. Once she made it to the body, she looked over it. She was still breathing. A sigh of relief escaped her. She inspected the blood seeping out of her forehead. It was a lot of blood. She felt for a pulse but found she...didn't have one. She looked at her rising and falling chest.  _ Strange… _ ..before her thoughts could gather any data, she shook out of her thoughts and the situation sank in.

“Oh my stars!” She frantically picked her up in a struggle, due to her shortness, but she was high on adrenaline. Not knowing where to go, she picked the place where she felt most appreciated, the Crystal Gems beach house.


	5. A Different Perspective

Peridot stumbled a lot on her way there, so much so she had to stop and catch her breath. “Oh jeez…How am I going to get her there?” She said panicking. She looked at her surroundings. 

She was struggling to carry an unconscious, possibly dead, woman on sand. It was really hard due to the ground being uneven and sinking under her feet.  _ Ok, calm down. It's fine, this is fine. Just get something to assist to carry her. Use your ability if you have to, you clod! _

She looked around the beach, finding a conveniently big piece of scrap metal. She stared at it, focusing her energy. It wiggled and slowly lifted off the ground and floated to her. She placed it besides the other girl and laid her down on it like a makeshift stretcher.

“I’m going to have a headache after this.” She grumbled.

-

Once she reached the stairs to the house, she dropped the girl and ran as fast as she could up and into the house. She slammed the door open, all eyes shifted to her in surprise. “Guy’s, help.” she gasped out in desperation, leaning on the door frame in exhaustion. “I found this girl and she ran straight into a wall. Shes down the stairs.”

Garnet, Pearl, and Steven instantly ran out the door and went downstairs. Except for Amethyst. She walked up to Peridot. “Hey, are you ok?” she said in a caring tone, reaching out to take hold of her and lead her to the coach.

“Yeah, just a little skittish, exhausted, and feel a migraine coming on.” The blonde stated, reaching up to hold her head as Amethyst sat her down beside her.

“You used your powers?” She asked in realization.

“Yeah. Guess I was high on adrenaline.” She shrugs, leaning into her.

“Well, that’s good. I’m glad you can use them,” She paused, “But it's a little risky since you don’t exactly know how to use them.” She stated, reaching out to her forehead and swiping her hair out of the way to see her glowing green rectangular scar. “It’s glowing Peri.” She deadpanned. Peridot slapped her hand away.

“I’m fine, just…,” She sighed while standing up on shaky legs, “need some medicine and water.” She reassured, but a pulse stroke through her head, causing her to stumble. Luckily, Amethyst read her body language and caught her.

“Slow down, Peri. Your brain can’t overwork itself yet.” 

“Well, it's going to know how to today.” She grumbled, pushing herself off of her and walking unsteadily to the kitchen, opening the fridge to get her bottle of water and reaching up to open the cabinet but failed.

“Let me-”

“No, I got it.” Peridot used her power to open the cabinet and used a trash can lid to make her taller. She took hold of the capsule. “See, I’m not incapable of-” She cut short, her power failing and crashed to the ground, face first. Right at contacted their was a millisecond of an unbearable pain in her scar before it disappeared.

Amethyst ran forward, picking her up. “Ok, you're going to lay down, whether you like it or not.” Peridot made quite groans and protest but she knew it was a useless struggle. Amethyst laid her down on the couch again and went over to grab the water and capsule. She came back to her and handed her a pill and the water bottle. Peridot took it, swallowing it down with the water. Just drinking water made her lightheaded. She sank deeper into the couch, an exhausted expression on her face.

At that moment, the others came in through the door, Garnet carrying the unconscious bluenette. From where Peridot was, she saw her head had been bandaged up.  _ Steven probably healed it but left a scar and blood. _

“Get her a pack of blood.” Garnet orders, laying her down beside her.

_ Blood? Why would she- _

“You sure? I mean, I know she’s a vampire and all but she didn’t appreciate it last time.” Steven pointed out.

_ Oh. _

“Just do it. She lost a lot of blood and she barely had any for weeks.” Garnet countered. Steven sighed, getting a pack from the fridge. Pearl was unsure what to do so she just stood next to Amethyst, whispering to her and Amethyst whispering back. 

Peridot couldn’t bring herself to care based on how uneasy she felt. She wanted to curse at herself but couldn’t find the energy, so she just sat there, listening around.

“From just an estimate, I would think she has a concussion,” Pearl concluded. She looked at Peridot. “What actually happened? Lapis might of had a PTSD attack.”

_ Lapis? Huh, and she has PTSD? Wonder what happened... _

Everyone else looked at her for an answer. “Umm, well, I saw her crying and shaking on the end of the boardwalk, so she was basically on the sand….” She paused. “Sorry, Umm. So I come over to her to see if she was alright but she wouldn’t answer me so I knew she wasn’t. I offered food but she paused and brushed it off. Then she questioned why I cared, so I did. She was doubtful so she just said to leave her alone and turned to leave but I grabbed her wrist, insisting that I help. But she became tense and…..” she paused in confusion, “I can’t remember how but the next thing I knew she was on the ground, trying to get up while hyperventilating and shaking like crazy. She kept yelling to herself, like she was talking to someone, but she just got up and ran into a wall.” Peridot finishes. 

The others looked uneasy. Garnet spoke first. “I should have seen this coming but Lapis is unpredictable. Thank you for helping her, but, Peridot,” she paused, “she doesn’t like being touched suddenly and don’t overuse your power. You could hurt yourself.” Peridot looked down, feeling embarrassed. “Though, thank you for bringing her here. Steven and Greg found her wilting away on a bench, ready to die from sun exposure. She had a rough and traumatizing past so we are trying to help her. She is suicidal, violent when angered, and has trouble eating. We need to be careful and make her feel at home.” Garnet finished.

Everyone nodded. Peridot did too but did it in an uncertain manner. “If you mind me asking, how can we help her to feel that way? How can I make her feel that way? I mean, I know that we have some abilities and we have that in common but- ” She was cut off.

“You’ll find out one day.” Garnet replied, adjusting her glasses.

“I hate when you know but won’t tell me.” She grumbled.

“I know. But right now, she will wake in about an hour or so, Steven.” She looked over to Steven standing behind the counter. 

“Oh, sorry!” He says, hurrying to Garnet. She took the blood pack and put it up to Lapis’s mouth. In just seconds, fangs poked out from her lips. She pushed the pack to her fang and the vampire instantly drank.

Peridot studies Lapis from beside her.  _ Wonder why her fangs pop out while she’s unconscious…. _ She thought. Then another pulse went through her scar, she winces in pain, shutting her eyes tight. She felt ready to faint under the sudden pressure in her skull. She didn’t notice as she started to sweat. This caught Steven’s attention.

“Hey, Peridot? You okay?” He questioned, swiping her hair out of the way to see her scar glow an intense light green. “Crap. Guys!” Everyone took their attention off of Lapis and looked to Peridot.

The pain was intense, too intense she couldn’t form words. She opened one of her eyes to see Amethyst and the others surrounding her. Steven was doing something but the blonde didn’t process it. There was a buzzing filling her head, along with some voice telling her something in an ordering tone. Then her eyes opened to see the world focusing in and the buzzing retreating. She heard muffled voices so she focused on them.

“P҉e҉r҉i҉d҉o҉t҉ ! H҉e҉y҉ ! F҉o҉c҉u҉s҉ o҉n҉ m҉e҉ a҉n҉d҉ m҉y҉ v҉o҉i҉c҉e҉.” She heard Amethyst say. She did, squinting her eyes at the tanned figure, slowly going into focus. “Say something or do something.” She pleaded.

Her brain felt like mush and she felt very tired. Then she felt something. No, heard something, someone.  _ ͼϴϻϵϦαͼkϯϴϻϵ,  _ It said, she shook her head, the fog clearing and the world coming back. She reached for her scar, looking blankly at Amethyst as the pain and noise stopped.

“That was…..weird.” She said.

“Peridot, what happened to you?” Amethyst said, apparently already sitting beside her, a hand on her thigh. She looked up at Garnet who was standing right in front of her, her expression hard to read.

“My head was pounding like crazy, I felt like I was going to faint but I heard something through the buzzing. I couldn’t tell what it was saying but at one point I heard a ‘come back to me’ and everything came back to focus. What…. what did it mean?” She finished, confused.

Garnet sighed, “Something or someone is trying to contact you or find you, it seems. Do you know anyone who would?”

She paused, thinking back to her time working with the Diamonds. What they were trying to accomplish. Who she had to work with. How she tried to get out. How her punishment was getting tested on and leaving her with a scar that apparently gave her powers to move metal with her mind. How she escaped and how furious her partner was.

“I...have an idea...” she said, downcast.

Amethyst put her hand on her shoulder, the blonde turned to look at her. “How about you go to my room and rest a bit, your a little pale and a little out of it.” She stated genuinely.

“Yeah, I’ll walk you there.” Steven offered. 

“Okay.” She replied, walking with Steven at her side to her friend's room. She collapsed onto the bed, face first, letting out a groan.

“If you need anything just holler or something. We are always here for you and maybe in a few, you should go to the fountain.” Steven said. Peridot nodded and he closed the door.

  
_ Only if they were there in the past that would be true. _ Peridot positioned herself and fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peridot is here :))))


	6. Lingering Felling

_ “Jasper! Let me go!” Lapis yelled, trying to push off of her abuser. _

_ “No, we are doing this my way.” She states, gripping tighter on the other's wrist and pulling her out into the night. _

_ “N-no Mistress, I can’t!” She grumbled, sounding more panicked. _

_ “Hrrrgh, Lapis Lazuli, this is a crucial part in order for a vampire to survive! You need to feed eventually! Plus, this is what you get for fighting back.” She persists, dragging her against her will. _

_ “No! Please, I’m sorry! I regret ever fighting against you. Just please don’t make me hurt anyone.” Lapis pleads, tears falling from her red hungry eyes. Jasper turns back to look at her with a stern look on her face.  _

_ “You will stalk someone without them noticing and do whatever you have to do to drink their blood. If I see you hesitate, I will get involved.” She ordered, now grabbing from her navy crop-top shirt collar. “Got it.” _

_ Lapis stares helplessly, her air being cut off a bit but it left room for her to form a response. “Yes, Mistress.” At that, Jasper readjusted her to hold her bridal style while she summoned her bat wings in order for her to fly. The ride was silent while Lapis calmed herself for the inedible. _

_ Once Jasper set Lapis down in a position to see a pass-bier, she left her but kept her eyes on her from a distance. Lapis took deep breaths until a shortish, chubby, dark-skinned man walked by. Lapis felt her hunger control her as she followed him. Once he reached a place that had no one around, she transformed into a bat and flew to an electrical cord. This allowed her to get his attention. Once his eyes meet hers she ordered for him to sleep. He fell to the ground, unconscious.  _

_ Lapis flew down and perched on his exposed shoulder. She leaned into his neck, smelling and feeling his blood run through him. She opened her mouth, her fangs coming out automatically as her hunger drives her into sinking them in his jugular. Lapis’s eyes widened and she pulled her fangs out and quickly turned back into a human. Her heart was beating in her chest and her panic rose. Two sides were fighting inside her, one pushing her to continue feeding and the other wanting to cry and break down for doing such a thing. She shivered, looking at her hands. She could feel the guilt and her imagination forcing her to see blood on her hands. _

_ “Finish the job!” Jasper whisper yelled, flying to Lapis. _

_ “N-n-n-n-no...I-I-I-I-I c-can’t.” She whimpers. Jasper grips her collar suddenly and holds her up into the air. Lapis cried and strivers under her touch. She tries to look away but Jasper already started her hypnotic hold.  _

_ “I’ll do you a favor Lazuli.” She smirked. Her eyes turned into something more intense, more intense she couldn’t feel anything. “When you are unconscious and smell and/or feel blood up to your face, your fangs will come out and drink when your fangs penetrate the coating. And you will drink it dry.”  _

_ Lapis could feel her senses change as her words sank in. Lapis felt a burning rage in her and escaped her hold. Everything was tingling madly. Her words kept repeating in her head. She grumbled, held her head, and shook it madly. She could feel her feet hit the ground and Jaspers grip snake to her shoulders. “Go the fuck to sleep Lapis.” And just like that, she was out like a light.  _

_ She unconsciously smelled blood in front of her, she unconsciously feels her fangs come out as they penetrated the innocent man’s neck, and she unconsciously sucked all of his life source away _ . 

-

When Lapis came to, she managed her temples, instantly forgeting what she just thought. She looked up to see Steven staring at her from the kitchen, pouring a glass of chocolate milk. It filled and spilled on the counter.

“Umm Steven. It’s full.” She said in a nervous tone.  _ Why was he staring at me? _ He snapped out of it, fumbling with getting paper towels and cleaning it up. 

“Uhh, Steven, you alright?” Lapis questioned with a concerned face.

He looked up. “Uh, Yeah! Of course! But are you okay? You kind of, like, ran into a wall. Made out of brick, forehead first.” He questioned back, making his away to her.

Lapis processed that for a second, her hands reaching for her lips to find her fangs were out. She quickly retracted them as Steven sat by her side, looking concerned. Then, her memory came back and an embarrassed blush surfaced her face.

“Oh, right. Yes, yeah I’m fine. Just feel a headache coming.” She then reached her hand to her forehead, feeling the bandages. “Crap, was it bad?” She turned her head to Steven.

“Uh, It was bleeding out a lot but I partly healed you, though it left a scar.” He fumbled, not mentioning that they feed her blood.

Lapis’s eyes widened. “Wait, healed.”

“Oh, yeah! I and the rest, well except for my dad, has some kind of ability, curse, power, or another species entirely. I have healing, Pearl is cursed with knowledge but controlled with secrecy was well, Garnet is psychic and can’t be burned, Amethyst is part werewolf and can shapeshift too, and Peridot has this weird power granted to her to lift and bend metal. They also have a weapon their hella good at.” He informed.

Lapis was taken aback at this new information but all that came out was “Who’s Peridot?” 

Steven tilted his head. “She didn’t introduce herself? She’s the one who you were talking to on the boardwalk and brought you here after you hit your head.” Lapis blinked. She remembered someone at her side after she hit her head but couldn’t remember ‘Peridots’ features or anything except some caring comments.

“Oh uh…. I can’t really remember her except some of what she said.” Lapis said unsurely.

“I see. I guess Pearl was right. You do have a concussion.”

Lapis snapped her head to Steven. “No, I don’t! I’m fine!” Lapis leaped upon her shaky feet. 

Steven took her shoulders. “You need to relax Lapis. Let’s take you to my mom’s spa.”

“Spa? I don’t need a spa.” She shot back, pushing his hand off and sitting back on the coach.

“It’s a special spa. It heals and relieves tension. I beat Peridot might be there to help with her head.” He adds in. “Just give it a chance. I’ll be calming and get your mind off things”

Lapis scrunched up her face. “Fine, but you're going to carrying me there. I just hate walking on shaky legs.” Steven looks down at her.

“I’m not sure I can.”

“Sure you can. I’ll just turn into a bat.” She stated simply. “I thought everyone knew vampires can change into a bat.”

“Well, you never turn into one before.”

Lapis smiled. “That’s because I didn’t want to. Now I do sooo, get ready.” Steven stepped back, not sure what to get ready for.

It was a quick transformation. Steven watch in awe as Lapis grew fur and shrank down. Then she grows all the natural appendages of a bat, but her now darker blue hair stays on the top of her head. She looked at Steven with her blue eyes. He saw a smirk with her fangs popping out, looking smug at Stevens awestruck face.

Lapis flew up to perch on Stevens' shoulder. “Wow, that was awesome.” He whispered to the bat but shook out of it and walked to a door with gemstones making a star. The door slid open to reveal a hallway of doors. Steven walked to a door with a rose symbol on it and opened it.

Lapis was overwhelmed at how big it was. There was a huge fountain with the same woman wearing a dress crying pink-tinted water spilling from her eyes in the middle and around the rims, pink roses with pink light scattered around everywhere to light the room. On the right side was a wooden sanna and on the other side was a hot tub and a mud bath. Lapis marveled at the sight, Steven looking at her with a smirk. She flew up to see a sky view. She couldn’t fly higher due to the dark-tinted dome blocking the outside world, making the room dim in order for her not to get burned.

She saw a girl with blonde hair just sitting there on the other side of the main fountain, with her eyes closed. She wasn’t sure if she was just closing her eyes or asleep, but there was a familiarity and attraction to her cute relaxed face. She flew back down to the ground, transforming back into a human.

“Jeez, Steven, this is….wow,” Lapis mumbled, looking back to the boy.

“Heh, now look who’s amazed.” He stated with smugness.

Lapis’s expression fell. “Yeah, whatever. I saw a girl on the other side of the fountain. Is that Peridot?” She tilted her head.

“Should be. Let's take a look.” He said, going around the fountain and seeing her. “Yep, I think she's asleep. Oh well. Let's get you in a suit. Those jean shorts and tank top need washing anyway.” He made his way to a rack of towels and swimsuits. He pulled out a bikini with a dress shirt that was dark blue and a darker shade as a triangle and another on the other piece making a diamond. “This is an old suit but I think it will fit just fine for you.”

Lapis looked at it.  _ That looks ...familiar _ . “Lapis, Hello?” Steven was suddenly in front of her, waving a hand in her face. “You spaced out. You need to get in there. Take this and change in the sanna. I promise I won’t peak.” He said, handing the suit over.

Lapis blinked. “Oh uh,” She takes it, “Thanks...” she walks off, looking down at the suit. 

_ “Now, get dressed. Your clothes are dirty from the other day so you can borrow these.” _ She flinched, looking around but not seeing anything. She just saw Steven going back to Peridot. She looked down at the suit again. “ _ You don’t need to dress in the bathroom. You can just change in here.”  _ She shook her head to shake off the thought, continuing to the sanna.

-

She made her way over to Steven who was now talking to Peridot. The swimsuit fit just right but something about it was hunting her. When she was putting it on, she would hear statements from the past being said in a whisper and a chill ran down her spine when the clothing rubbed against her body to wear it in the correct placement. She just was unsure if she would relax when this feeling is over her head.

“....Good, I’m glad your head feels better. I got worried when your scar started to glow a bright green and you, like, spaced out.” She heard Steven saying.

“Yeah, sorry about that. It just happens when I use my ferrokinesis too long, I guess.” The blonde replied back. By now, Lapis made her way to Steven who noticed and introduced them to each other.

“This is Peridot, which you already knew, but she’s pretty chill, a little awkward, and enthusiastic when you get to know her.” 

“Steven, stop.” She blushed, sinking in the water a little. Lapis smiled at her, silently telling that her flaws didn’t matter to her.

“I’m Lapis, Lapis Lazuli. Sorry about that mess when we meet. I don’t remember much but I hope I can leave a good impression instead of the panicky me you witnessed.” Lapis found herself saying. 

She lifted her chin out of the water and smiled back. “It’s okay, we all need to show that side of us when we are like that. I hope your feeling better.” She states.

“Well, I best be going and help the Gems. Their out dealing with some Alchemists. I’ll be back and you two relax, you can do whatever you please to feel at home. See yah Peri and Lapis!” He yelled, running to the door and closing it behind him.

Lapis lingered, looking at the closed door, now feeling anxious being alone with a stranger. “Heh, Steven, so enthusiastic,” Peridot stated, relaxing back into the water. “Wanna come in, Lazuli?”

Lapis snapped her head back to her. “Oh, yes, but Lapis is fine.” She flushed, dipping slowly in the water. It was warm, the perfect temperature. He sank in and sat a foot or two away from Peridot and closed her eyes. “This is nice.” Lapis found herself saying. 

“Yeah, it's pretty great.” Then there was a moment of comfortable silence.


	7. Storytelling

“....I was eighteen and wasted eight years of my life trying to impress my boss at a job I had. It...didn’t treat me well, but I’m glad I escaped from it.” Peridot revealed in a downcast look with a frown on her face; After they were talking in small talk, Peridot decided to reveal.

“Yeah, I get that. I think my life was looking up until I hit my twenties. I’ve been wasting my young adult life with a person I didn’t even like for three years.”

“Oh really? Why did it last that long, if you mind me asking.”

“Well ...it's kind of complicated but…,” Lapis paused, “She. . . was manipulating me every time I tried to escape but she always found a way to stop me….. Our relationship wasn’t healthy. I knew I needed to break things off eventually so I eventually did but it took too long.”

“Oh gosh. That sounds like you have been through some stuff. Did she ...abuse you?”

Lapis made a broken laugh. “Pretty much.”

“So ... that’s why you… acted like that when I meet you?” Peridot asked in a worried tone. Lapis nodded, a tear breaking loose. Lapis instantly whipped it away and sniffed.

“Enough about me. What about your job?” Lapis said, trying to change the attention off of her.

“Oh… well, to put it simply, it was hell. It started out good but once I saw what they were really doing, I had to quit. My job was to fix technical stuff and report it to my boss, Yellow Diamond. I also had a partner who would be the muscle and help out or go and do her duties that I soon figured out to be violent. She is a soldier and she would go on missions to either steal something my boss needed or…. forcefully and violently interrogate other people. I found that out by going on a mission with her and seeing it first hand. I was forced to stay and write information down.”

“Oh my.”

“Yeah, and it didn’t stop their. They were using the technology I worked on and made it into experiments that would create supernaturals that would soon take over the world. It was harder to work knowing this and I tried to quit but…. it didn’t go so well. You see, once you get involved with the company, it is impossible to leave. They punished me by conducting an experiment on me. It was damn painful. I didn’t know what was happening. It left a scar that would glow on my forehead. Test after test and they concluded that it didn’t have an effect on me; Which it did later on because now I have the power to move and bend metal. Once I was let out with a set of new limb enhancements, I was too scared to try anything else so I got back to work.” Peridot finished with a low voice.

“I can’t imagine the strain and stress that you went through. It’s awful that you got involved with such a company.”

“Yeah, good thing I figured out how to escape for real.”

“Can I hear the rest of the story? I’m curious.” Lapis said with a hint of embarrassment.

Peridot turned to look her in the eyes.  _ Lapis’s eyes look like the depths of the ocean. _ She flushed. “Oh sure, of course.” She said, flustered and took a breath and looked up.

“Well, I worked harder in fear, which pleased my boss but made me feel guilty. If I overwork, which I did a lot, it would bring pain to my head and it feels like a very big muscular man is crushing my head. Ms. Diamond would make it less painful and I would work until I passed out. It was torture but one day something changed. Apparently, there was a rebellion less than a thousand years ago, so I wasn’t born, but it wasn’t heard of based on both sides not actually winning. The three leaders, including my boss, launched an attack that turned all the rebels to supernaturals with no consciousness of what they do in reality. Basically making them act feral. They thought that they got everyone but a few survived. The Rebellions leader was a healer and her weapon was a shield and sword. She protected both Pearl and Garnet from the blast but it apparently gave them either a power or curse. I presume Steven told you their ability?” She looked to Lapis for confirmation. She nodded.

“Anyway, my mission was to check and report about the experiments at an abandoned Kindergarten, which were either of the leaders making supernaturals from tubes and the organic life that was hidden in the earth. They gave me, a signed up worker, and other old/defective generations enhancements to match a superpower or to make use of them. When I was recording my report, a sixteen-year-old Steven found me. I naturally used my blast canon but Amethyst came out and used her whip to take my arm enhancement off and then proceeded to tie me up. Then Pearl came in to take all my other enhancements off. They basically kidnapped me but I had already given up hope to believe I could escape the Diamonds that I would refuse to give information on their plan. That is, until Steven talked to me and gave me hope by taking me outside to see the world again. I told him their plan and then told the Gems. I continued to help them and became a Crystal Gem by helping to defend people in our area, and other places we went to, and stop the experiments from destroying the earth. So that’s how I escaped that mess. Then discovered my ability, of course.” Peridot finish, turning her head to see Lapis’s reaction.

“You sure had an adventure.” Lapis smiled at her. 

“Yeah, but I did cross paths with my partner. She was ferrous. Right before my eyes, she turned into a vampire when she tried making an unstable vampire an allie. Didn’t turn out too well for her. Unfortunately, she escaped. We are trying to find her and contain her in the ‘bubbles'. I made them to put the corrupted supernaturals in.”

“Hmm,” Lapis was suddenly uneasy. “Uh, Peridot?”

“Yes?”

“What. . . was your partner's name?” She asked in a nervous tone.

Peridot turns concerned and frowns. “Jasper.” As soon as that dreaded name was uttered from her, Lapis’s body language instantly stiffens and panic was evident on her face. Peridot instantly notices and all her attention was focused on Lapis Lazuli. “Are you-“

“Fucking shit!” Lapis shouts, closing her eyes tight and shook in the water. “I-I-I should of known she was involved in other shit and knew exactly how to press my buttons!” Lapis shouted, tears pouring from her eyes.

“Lapis, please calm-“

“Little shit hypnotized me into believing her lies and turned me into a fucking vampire!” Lapis then sobbed uncontrollably as her breathing became fast.

_Shit, shes having a panic attack again!_ _Ugh, what do I do! I messed up last time a touched her!_

_ Just talk to her, dip-shit! _

“Uh, Hey! Lapis! It’s okay! It’s just me, Peridot! I’m not going to touch you okay. Please calm down. You’re in the fountain with me. Not with her. She’s not here. I won’t let anything happen to you, okay?” Peridot started off shouting to get her attention but she toned her voice down to sound softer.

Lapis responded by opening her eyes to look into Peridots, trying to use her teal eye color to overpower Jaspers angry crimson ones. It seemed to work. “She’s not here. It’s okay. You're safe. I’ll help you.” Peridot continues to comfort. Lapis’s breathing became wheeze and her eyes scanned Peridot over. Lapis then realized that she was digging her nails into her arm.

“Shit,” Lapis murmurs through her wheezes, releasing her hold and felt the water sting at her new markings that were quickly vanishing.

“It’s okay. Just breathe Lapis.” Peridot instructed softly. Lapis follows and takes deep breaths until it was back to normal. Lapis clenches her fist and slammed it against her head.

“Hey now, don’t do that,” Peridot said in a wavering nervous tone. Lapis continued a few times but stops and looks back at the blonde. Tears were still pouring but their the ‘I’m hopeless and feel like shit’ tears after you showed your panicking side, again.

“S-sorry, I just...had a traumatic time with her.”

“Do you...want to talk about it?” Peridot asked. “I mean, you can't just bottle these things up. You’ve been through hell for  _ three years _ .” 

Lapis quieted down and consider her options. She didn’t want to tell her troubles but Peridot did reveal hers and had a good point….

“Ok, but some of it is triggering and will upset me so I won’t go in-depth.” Lapis warned. The blonde nodded and waited for her to start.

She breathed and began. “I think this whole mess started at a bar and I was in the bathroom from drinking too much and she came in. She offered to help clean me up b-but I refused. The next thing I knew I was being controlled, used as a b-blood bag and she….,” Lapis shivered, “She tricked me of loving her, being in a r-relationship with her. For a couple of months it worked in her favor and would either just suck my blood, r-rape me, and/or assault me almost every day. I wasn’t aware of it until she turned me into a vampire on the beach at night. It hurt a lot being transformed but once I was conscious, I started to f-fight her. In the o-ocean. It was s-suffocating and v-violent but she had the u-upper hand and put me to sleep. From there she forced me to f-feed off humans and kill t-them by drinking them dry. I felt bad doing it but I couldn’t fight it. I feed unconsciously. That’s why my fangs pop out when I’m unconscious. Because of h-her. I can’t even say her name because she ordered me to address her as ‘mistress.’” She said in a sullen tone. Peridot just couldn’t believe that Jasper went that far when the technician left the Diamonds.

“She continued to r-rape, a-abuse, and o-order me around but I would fight back. I didn’t want to let it happen and just be a hopeless doll she could just walk over. It started to get worse from their.” Lapis paused to regulate her breathing. The other waited patiently.

“I...I don’t like to talk about the countless beatings and arguments but let’s just say it left many scars. I got so caught up in this sickening cycle I didn’t know that life was worth living. I started to go without blood or water or food for weeks. Mistress would get really angry and force me to take care of my body. I was so weak that I couldn’t fight against her. Her beatings and hypnosis where getting harder to resist. And soon...I-I wasn’t me anymore.” Lapis started to shiver and hold her shoulders.

“I was an empty husk. I let her pilot me just like she wanted to in the first place. Nothing fazed me, not even killing innocent people on the streets or Mistress fucking me like no tomorrow. She just wanted me to stay alive for her own benefit. I was so damn suicidal, depressed, and broken. I believed I was stuck there forever but… I got out by a miracle.” Lapis laid her head back and a tired smile was presented.

“She was out doing something so I made my move. Usually, she would put me to sleep but she didn’t and just told me to just sit on the bed and watch TV. It was a challenge to get around her control but I got out of it because she was force-feeding me. I used that energy and just walked out the door and into the chilling night. I was exhausted and just let my body take me wherever but thoughts still creeped in. I found myself in an abandoned barn for two weeks without food or blood and felt the wish of death come. Next thing I knew, I blacked out and I’m on a bench giving me a view of the sunrise on a beach. Then Steven and Greg found me and brought me to their house when I was unconscious and burning because of the sun.” Lapis finished and looked to Peridot.

To Lapis, the mental bender had the most caring and concerned, though anxious, face shes ever saw.  _ She’s so adorable. _

“Will you be okay for the rest of your life?”She asked, unsure how to go on about their conversation.

“No,” Lapis said with a bitter laugh.

“I...I don’t know what to say to that...”

“Then don’t. Let’s just sit here for a moment.” Lapis positions herself in a comfortable position and closed her eyes. She didn’t see the blonde nod but she took it that she agreed.

_ Looks like both of us are damaged and used for overs purposes. _ Lapis and Peridot thought as the sound of water moving around peacefully reached their ears.


	8. Reminiscent

**_A month later_ **

_ I look back to how all this started. Drinking at a bar, going to the bathroom, seeing her... _

_ The confusion of others of actions. Those crimson eyes, taking control of me, leading me to my fate... _

_ The unforgiving truth. Fangs inside of me, floating, sudden realization. _

_ The pain of what I did. Hunger driving me, panic and guilt rising, others blood on my hands. _

_ The pain of living. Fight back, violence, more sexual abuse. _

_ The depression of submitting. Red surrounding her, force-feeding, hopeless doll. _

_ The break of chains. A miracle, sitting on a bed, out the door. _

_ And, being found. Sunrise, itchy body, two blurry blobs. _

_ It’s not easy to come out unscathed. No blood, breakdowns, attack. _

_ It’s not easy to be okay if it lingers. Disruption, whispers, touch. _

_ But, maybe if they’re by my side. Crystal Gems, “Can you let us help you?”, Peridot. _

_ I can heal. Happy with you, healing spa, comfort. _

“Hey, Lapis… You alright?”

Lapis shook out of her thoughts, looking to the side to find Peridot with a concerned expression written on her face. 

She smiled weakly. “Yeah, just thinking,” Lapis responded, looking back at the dark ocean of the night. She frowned. 

_ Though, it’s hard to face the change from the place that started the conscious of change. “You bitch! What did you do to me!?”, full moon shining down on them on a beach, fight for control. _

“You have that look on your face…” Peridot voiced uncertainty.

“What face?” Lapis asked as if annoyed.

“That look of remembrance, almost poetic. You do it when your thinking about the past,” The mental bender scooched over a little closer to the vampire. “Is it about… when you turned…?”

Lapis moved her hand to automatically hold her neck, where the ever so slightly faded bite marks where.  _ “I want you.”  _ She shivered, remembering her nuzzle into her. Remembering fangs sinking into her for who knows how many times. Remembering the burning in her bloodstream running up to her head. Remembering the struggle in the water. Remembering what happened next.

Lapis was brought back to the world when a hand rubbed her shoulder. She relaxed and leaned into it, Peridot comforting her. She kept doing it until Lapis was resting on Peridot’s shoulder, like a couple watching a shooting star. “Thanks,” Lapis mumbled. 

“Don’t mention it,” She replied, stopping her massaging and just holding the bluenette in her arms. They were silent as the sounds of the night reached their ears, both having a smile and blush on their faces.

-

On the walk to the barn, Lapis was in her own mind again. The past month has been the most relaxing it could get. Sure, Lapis would have many mental breakdowns a week but she bounced right back. Having people around was comforting, especially Peridot. She was ‘a go-to’ for her.

Also during that time, Steven decided to use Greg’s family barn to have a place for alone time or privacy. Lapis loved it but found it all the marrier to have the metal bender around. The two would foul around, tell stories, do art, vent, etc. It put Lapis at ease to have a place and person so peaceful, unlike Jasper. 

She shook the thought of her and looked to Peridot walking beside her. It was still night time but the shine of the moon illuminated her face. Her blonde hair waving in the air, a look of content on her face.  _ She is perfect. Wait… what? _

She looked ahead to see an ever so far away barn in the distance. She was hit with a feeling seeing it. Ever since she went to the burn, there was a familiarity to it, like she's been there before… But yet no memory was revealing itself.

“Lapis?” She flinched, looking to see she had stopped in her tracks and Peridot a few feet away, noticing Lapis was not following.

“Oh...sorry…”Lapis walked up next to her and they both started walking again.

“You’ve been acting this way for days Lapis. Is there something your not telling me?” Peridot asked, looking up straight into her eyes. She looked back, sighing.

“I don’t know...I just feel some feeling when I see the barn.” She replied, looking down.

“A feeling? What kind of feeling?”

“I guess… I don’t really know what happened when I grow up or the friends and family I had. I guess this...feeling is like a forgotten memory.” She crooked her arms, a gloomy expression on the vampires face.

Peridot though for a moment. “So if this barn was apart of your life in the past, that would give you a clue to find them.” She concluded.

She looked down at her. “But I don’t know why the barn is making me remember.”

“Think of this. What kind of emotion is it, what feeling are you feeling?” Peridot tested.

Lapis froze, thinking. She did make a point. She looked at the barn, closer in distance. She stared at it.

_ A girl, smiling at me. Hanging out. Wondering. Secret hangout. Emotions. Gay. Disowned. Everyone turning their backs. On my own. Depression. Bar. Drinking. More. More. More. Alcoholic. A mess. _

“Miserable…” Lapis said, a tear surfacing her face. Then another. And another…

Peridot stared helplessly at Lapis, not sure what the implication meant fully. “Hey, Lapis. It’s okay if it makes you feel that way. But what matters now is you don’t have to deal with what you had before. This is a new life for you.”

Lapis sniffled. “It does seem like years away…” she reasoned with herself.

“Right, let’s just relax in the barn okay?”

She wiped her tears away. “Yeah… okay.” Then they made their way to the barn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And part 1 is finished! I hope it was worth your time reading. Part 2 is mainly focusing on Lapis's family orgins. It didn't finish writing it yet because of lack of motivation and stuff. I might go in hiatus or just make part 2 discontinued. My interest shifted to another fandom and I enjoy writing it. Steven Universe... not so much, I'm afraid. So I'll be posting three and a half chapters on part 2 in a few weeks or so.
> 
> I hope you have a sane day!

**Author's Note:**

> Stay tuned...


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